Sylvia Rimm On Raising Kids: Addiction Recovery Takes Time

Sylvia Rimm Q. I've been divorced for 10 years. My daughter was caught intoxicated and smoking pot. She was living with her mother and stepfather, but in the past she had asked to live with me. I said yes with the condition that she go into a program called Eckerd Youth Alternatives for six months.

After 10 years, my daughter has come home to me. This newfound fatherhood and full-time parenting brought out new feelings within me that were waiting to feel something very special.

When I visited her in November, she pleaded with me to let her come home for Thanksgiving. I said yes and then realized I had made an emotional decision and told her she could not come home yet. I then agreed to February, but Eckerd suggested that she finish the program. When I got home, I felt alone and scared with my decision. I thought if it took longer to finish the program and helped her stay away from what she had been doing and put her life in a better and safer direction, there was no contest. So, I told her the news.

I seem to be stuck. I want to trust my daughter, believe her, and bring her home. My fear is if she comes home, she'll start up where she left off. Have you ever heard anything about Eckerd Youth programs? Knowing she's in one of the best youth programs would make me feel better.

A. I can tell you that drug addiction is serious and needs to be treated seriously. I don't know the Eckerd Youth Alternatives program, but you can find out more information by asking about its success rate and contacting your local social services agency for references on the program. If your daughter truly learns to live soberly, she will thank you eventually for insisting she complete the program. If you find corroboration for the quality of the program, I recommend you follow the program's guidelines for when your daughter graduates and lives at home with you again.

For free newsletters about growing up too fast for either tweens or teens, send a large, self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094, or go to www.sylviarimm.com for more parenting information.

Katie Fitch, 3 yr. old,

Please remember me in your prayers... Katie Fitch Katie is a beautiful three year old little girl who has just been diagnosed with hepatoblastoma. This is an extremely rare form of liver cancer that affects about one in every million children born in the United States every year. The tumor is so large that it cannot be removed until chemotherapy has been given to try to shrink it. No child should have to endure what she is going through. Please remember Katie and her family in your prayers that God may give them the strength to endure this most difficult time in their lives. A little more of Katie's story: Katie's battle with cancer began Saturday, June 21, 2008 . She told her mommy that she had a 'tummy ache' and she wanted to lay down and take a nap. She did not have any energy the rest of the day nor did she want to eat. Sunday, June 22, 2008 , she again complained of a 'tummy ache'. Katie's mom, Stacie, felt her stomach and noticed a large lump. She was fearful that Katie may have a hernia so she took her to the doctor the following Monday morning. The doctor on duty called in the head of pediatrics to examine Katie to confirm his fears. The head of pediatrics called them all to his office and gave them the bad news. He told them that he felt with a 90% surety that it was cancer. He then said a prayer with this family and immediately referred Katie to the Children's Hospital at the Medical University of South Carolina . Tuesday morning, Katie underwent a barrage of tests including blood work and CT Scans. This confirmed her diagnosis. The tumor is so large that it is pressing on her stomach, kidneys, lungs, and intestine. This tumor cannot be removed until she has undergone chemotherapy to try to shrink it so that it can be safely removed without harming her. Friday morning, June 26, 2008, Katie will have the first of many surgeries to biopsy the tumor and place a Port-A-Cath for the administration of the chemotherapy. Her battle with cancer is just beginning. Please imagine how you would feel if this were your baby enduring such a life threatening illness and say a prayer for Katie and her family. The power of prayer is tremendous and perhaps, through enough prayers, our hopes for a miracle will be answered and Katie will return home with her family to live a long, happy, healthy, and productive life as active as any normally healthy child could have. If you pass this prayer request to just 10 people, and they pass it to 10 more, and they pass it to 10 more, it reaches 1000 people with a few clicks of the mouse. Prayer works.

Kids II infant rattles recalled

WASHINGTON (UPI) -- The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission announced a voluntary recall of Kids II infant rattles because of a choking hazard.

The rattles, imported from China by Kids II Inc. of Alpharetta, Ga., include antenna attached to a bee figure. The tip of the antenna can detach, posing a choking hazard to small children, CPSC said in a statement.

About 19,000 of the recalled rattles were sold between January 2008 and June 2008 for between $2 and $3 each.

The rattles are a soft toy shaped like a bee with a yellow head and a stripped, green body. Recalled items include model No. 8534 with the date code PA8.

Consumers were advised to take the pacifiers away from children and contact Kids II for a free replacement.

Consumers can also call Kids II at at 877-325-7056 for more information.

Copyright 2008 by United Press International

Sylvia Rimm On Raising Kids: Drug Seller A Poor Father
Sylvia Rimm

Q. My 30-year-old daughter had this fantasy about her ex-boyfriend from high school. They got together and had a son. This guy refused to sign the birth certificate because she wouldn't give their son a name he wanted. He doesn't work, is covered in tattoos and offers no financial or emotional support. He's a social outcast and uses and sells drugs. Why does my daughter constantly say that she doesn't want to disallow this loser in her son's life? She says she is afraid that in later years her son will judge her about it. My real question is -- what do I say to such a stupid excuse? She is a highly educated woman and very well-liked, but her taste in men is just horrible.

A. Your daughter undoubtedly knows her son's father from better days and must still be hoping he'll reform. There's no doubt that a druggie is a poor role model for her son. Your daughter may feel confused because, in most cases, fathers are so important to their children that she doesn't want to cut her son off from his father. I do agree with you on this one, if your factual information is correct -- better no father at all than one that uses and sells drugs. If Father reforms and changes his life more positively, your daughter can promise to open the door to a relationship again. Hopefully, there are other more positive male family members or friends who can be role models for your grandson. Teachers, ministers, coaches and scout leaders can often be inspiring role models, and moms and grandmoms can do their share in raising boys to success and confidence.

For a free newsletter with advice on single parenting, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or go to www.sylviarimm.com for more parenting information.